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Engaged
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Has Kids
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Cohabiting
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Married
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Over 50
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| Relationship Status: |
Relationship Status: |
Relationship Status: |
Relationship Status: |
Relationship Status: |
| Jared: 26 Ashley: 25 Engaged but have not set a date for the wedding. |
Eric: 22 Shantel: 23 Both work at a restaurant. They’ve been dating for a year. Now they have a 3 month old baby. |
Dale: 34 Kristy: 29 Have been together 6 years and have a 4 year old. She just found out that she is pregnant. |
Bobby: 35 Trish: 29 Married 7 years both focused mainly on their own careers. |
Sam: 53 Phyllis: 50 Married 25 years and they just sent off their youngest child to college. |
| The Problem: |
The Problem: |
The Problem: |
The Problem: |
The Problem: |
| The In-Laws Ashley’s parents think that Jared has no future and they’re pressuring her to break it off. |
Conflict of Goals She wants to go back to school and get a degree. He isn’t interested in school anymore and is unsure about the future. |
Conflict / Fighting She wants to get married and is troubled by the fact that he he gets angry when she wants to talk about it. |
Financial Issues The problem is that they have been planning to have children. He is worried about the financial burden, but he still wants to buy a boat. |
Communication Breakdown They are wondering “who’s this person living in my house.” Now that the kids are gone they have to get to know each other again. |
| Possible VOW Solutions: |
Possible VOW Solutions: |
Possible VOW Solutions: |
Possible VOW Solutions: |
Possible VOW Solutions: |
| Create a Family Map we define 25 types of couple or family relationships The 25 types or patterns are based on combining five levels of closeness and flexibility. |
1. Set time/place for discussion 2. Define the problem 3. How each contribute to problem 4. Brainstorm for solutions 5. Evaluate possible solutions 6. Agree on one solution to try |
Work on Assertiveness skills. This is the time to ask for what you want & need. Eliminating the assumption that their minds can be read. |
The first step in reducing the amount of conflict regarding finances is to discuss and decide on your short-term and long - term financial goals. |
Communication skills that will increase your intimacy 1. Look for the good in your spouse or partner. 2. Praise them as much as possible. 3. Take time to listen to each other. 4. Listen to understand not judge |
